Homesickness

Definition of terms...

"sickness" - unwellness, abnormal condition, disease, illness

"home" - hard to define, but I think of it as where I am loved most, and where I love to be

It's hard to define home these days. I mean, I spent the first 18 years of my life in one home, on one street, in one small little town in Wyoming. Then five of the last seven years in Michigan, but a break with two in Colorado. And Colorado is where most of my near family lives.

So when I feel homesick now, it's the strangest and most disorienting feeling. I long for something that I feel I'm unable to define or grasp, yet the longing remains. It's like a strange sensation of missing out on something, without being able to even truly feel sensible of what that something is. If that's not vague enough, then I haven't aptly described my feeling of homesickness. I want to be near my family, yet am utterly certain I live and am where I'm supposed to be.

My dad told me the other day on the phone, "Remember, this is not where you want to be.... but it is the path to take to get where you want to be." I think that's true. It's just such an odd balancing act of sacrifice and self-denial. On the one hand, family is the most important thing to me; on the other hand I have to give up being near them in order to pursue the calling of medicine. So I'm left feeling this murky sensation of floating, being confident my direction is right, but disoriented without my family there. Wow, that makes me sound so lost, doesn't it?! I know God is with me, no doubt about that. Yet even with wonderful people around (like my 'family' here in Michigan - the Olsons), I feel homesick. Maybe it's a longing for heaven. I don't know, but the feeling rolls over me like tides, and right now it's high tide.

Lecrae has a great rap song about feeling alien as a Christian in this world, called "A.L.I.E.N.S." 'Strangers in places, foreign in lands that we are in, call us peculiar but know that WE ARE ALIENS....' Good tune, check it out.

"A - A whole notha kind of folks, kinda slowBut we gotta go cause the world's so Ill

L - Livin' the life and livin' it rightAnd livin' for Christ and that's real in the field

I- Intelligent but irrelavent without ChristIt's nothing but another sin element

E- Eternal Purpose, without it this earth is dead and worthless

N- Never stop giving Him PropsGiving Him praise now until the end of our days

S- Seek Him and please Him and let the people know that they need Him

Aliens! New Creations, new free agents, ain't signed to sinWhat the world do, we don't doCause we wanna do what the Lord does; Christ within our systemListen our mission's the Great Commisssion, we come here to represent HimThat's why we call ourself Christianans, Ha, Let me spit another lineFor the Plumbline and the Frontline one time on the front lineskeep holdin' it down for all the pilgrimsAll over the world representing for the bloodline"

School days, again

Shifting gears from traveling and the whirl and buzz of jet-setting, I have slowly adjusted to the daily rhythm of medical studies. I am still far behind in catching up on correspondence, world events, and even domestic politics.

Biochemistry and Physiology are on the to-do list, and they are definitely something to-do. Last weekend was great for studying because it was rainy, but the weather has shifted bittersweetly to sunny days that ever distract me from the hum and drum of classwork.

I've been reading in Ephesians recently and a study guide asked the other day, "if God has given us all spiritual blessings, then what are you thankful for? And how often do you thank God for all you have been given?" So as my study break today, I've decided I want to come up with a list of just some of the things I'm thankful for.

*knowing God - I mean, I still know Him imperfectly, but just the insight He has given me to know Himself is a blessing
*blessings of friendships - beyond my extremely encouraging family, I am surrounded by a great group of friends who daily challenge and encourage me to strengthen and grow my faith
*physical blessings- I can see (which makes me able to read and study), I have a brain that can think, I have a voice, I can walk and get around and see this world He's created... I feel so privileged to get to do all of that!

Anyway, here's to being thankful for the small things (that are actually so important in the big scheme of things!) Cheers!

Tokyo and home....

I love Japan. No, I really do. I would go back in a heartbeat. Maybe it was in the stark contrast between the disorder/repression/poverty of India, that Japan shone like a surreal utopia. However, I absolutely adored my time spent in the vastly advanced and well-cultured Asian city of Tokyo.

I had gotten worn out by the time spent in India, and because of things happening back on the mainland, I had developed a strong urge to come home (bypassing Japan altogether.) Fortunately though, it was too expensive to change flights, so I ended up spending four delightful days. Here are some highlights...

1. Meeting Malin, the fun Swedish traveling companion for the majority of time I spent there.
2. The deliciously exotic food and meandering around interesting shops and stalls.3. Sleeping overnight in the oddly futuristic and almost sci-fi "capsule."

4. Spending the last night with two Japanese strangers who befriended me and took me to do that altogether Asian thing to do... Kah-rah-oke. (That's really how you're supposed to pronounce it!)