{breakdance joy}

This is a wonderful song that my best friend Erin posted a while back and I thought I would share it here. A lot has been happening in my life, too much it seems to sit down and recount right now... but perhaps later - until then, enjoy this -->

http://virb.com/theautumnfilm/videos/2656264

It's been a fast couple of weeks since I last wrote... and in that space of time I have been dotting the midwest and southern landscape of the US with travel. First, my grandfather passed away November 6 and I was able to find an inexpensive flight to travel back to Kansas to celebrate his life with my extended family.

My Grandad, Junius, was 84 when he passed away. He spent the better part of his life (65 years) married to my grandmother, and had done so much with his life that I found out all sorts of new things about him even at the funeral. (Who knew he helped start a hydroelectric plant in Ecuador that is still running today? That he had been so involved in Christian Radio?) That he had impacted many people's lives was no surprise to me. Out of his five children, 18 grandchildren, and three great-grandchildren - only one of the grandkids wasn't at the funeral (and for good school-related academic reasons!) Grandad's visitation was jam-packed, standing room only, with people doing what should be done at a funeral.... they were celebrating a life well-lived, with laughter at the past, tears of bittersweet joy, and gladness in knowing Grandad was no longer suffering in heaven.

I tried to write down some thoughts about him (though brief with limited time in school now):

Few people are blessed enough to encounter, not to mention, know a great person in their lifetime – and I’ve been extremely privileged to be related to such a rare and wonderful person. Grandad was a legend for all the grandkids growing up. I remember wondering how he could know as many people as he did, because everywhere we’d go (from Pub ‘n Grub in Green Mountain Falls, CO to a local breakfast place in Lawrence, KS) we were bound to run into someone Grandad knew by name. The part that was always inspiring to me too, was that everyone we encountered always seemed genuinely happy to see him. When I was younger I remember how special the entrance to Pub n’Grub (now Black Bear) on Thursday nights would be with Grandad. Cy and the gang would play “Pennies From Heaven” and hands would raise and wave as we would sing along with the personal dedication to Grandad and Nonny.

There are at least three genes I hope I’ve inherited from Grandad. First would be his wit. (Okay, I admit that’s too much to hope for. We all know he’s funnier than any of the rest of us could ever wish to be.) Yet whenever a situation seems too stressful or too serious, I think of Grandad and his ability to say the perfect thing to make everyone relax and laugh.

I’d also like to have his great mix of genius and people skills. He was a mastermind at engineering and business, and he never tired of watching the stocks on the news or reading articles on investing. But he was also such a loving and kind man when it came to charity and giving. I remember hearing people (in the numerous places we’d randomly encounter them) thanking him for different ways he’d helped them – he helped people get jobs, get through tough spots… not passing up opportunities to make other people’s lives better.

Lastly, and most importantly, my grandfather was a man of faith. To many people, faith is confined to Sunday mornings and mealtime grace – but Grandad considered his whole life, in all its entirety, to be a means of showing God’s grace to the world. There is a tendency at times like this, where a person who has gone to glory is somehow idealized. But what I remember about my wonderful great Grandad was that in his faith he never claimed to be perfect. I consider him a model of greatness not because he was somehow perfect but because he did what he thought was best, but was humble in giving God the glory for all the blessings he received throughout his life.

I am selfish in being sad that Grandad is gone, because HE is obviously in a much better place. But I had always wanted my future husband and children (if I have them) to meet him and see what a really great man looks like.

The evening after the funeral, just several people were left at the house, and I was talking with my grandmother in the kitchen. I said to her, "This all makes me think of what I want people to say about me when I die." Nonny's response was quick and seasoned with wisdom - she couldn't have been more right, "That's not important, Abbie. What's really important is what God says about your life."

It seemed apt that yesterday in church we happened to read a short excerpt from Psalm 57. With elections coming up tomorrow and people worrying about so many problems in our country - I thought this was a good reminder of what we trust as Christians.

A lot of us are worried about the future of our country, the economy, our families, our jobs, etc. Some of us are just anxious about exams or maybe the health of a loved one. Yes, even Christians have restless nights of worry as different situations plague us. Yet, God knows all of our thoughts. He hears us when we struggle even to understand hardships in life and call out, "Lord, what about this? How will ___ work out? Will you take care of ____? What should I do about ____?"

Read below as He counts each of our tossings, and catches each teardrop. Such a God is He, that He cares even for our minute worries and sleepless nights. So we can say with confidence that in HIM we trust. Shouldn't our worries fall to the wayside in light of His provision and care for us? Regardless of who wins tomorrow, America's motto of "In God we trust" is not as significant as each of our own individual cries of "In God I trust!"

Ps 57:8-13
"You have kept count of my tossings;
put my tears in a bottle.
Are they not in your book?
Then my enemies will turn back
in the day when I call.
This I KNOW, that God is for me.
In God, whose word I praise,
in God I trust; I shall not be afraid.
What can man do to me?
I must perform my vows to you, O God;
I will render thank offerings to you.
For you have delivered my soul from death,
yes, my feet from falling,
that I maybe walk before God
in the light of life."

That said, I hope you all vote tomorrow... and importantly I hope that you all pray not just for the future president and the future of our country, but that you would pray that we would all learn to trust God more.

I was reminded tonight by my dear friend from undergrad days Katie Bieber Loveland, that seven years ago we were standing in the Spartan stadium watching a very memorable football game. Back then we were freshmen Spartans, totally new to life on campus and when we beat the Wolverines and the stadium erupted with screams heard citywide, I didn't understand then what I do now.

What a glorious thing it is when green trumps blue.

Crazy how life repeats itself... the last time Michigan State beat Michigan I was a freshman undergrad and now I'm a freshman medical student.

My blood still bleeds green. Maybe even moreso now! Go green! Go white!

Now the third medical school class is out of the way with the cumulative final in Biochemistry on Monday. I'm definitely happy it's over, but I look back on the past two months and don't know where they've gone. I'd like to be able to retrospectively reflect on some notable achievements that I've made or some kind (any kind of) outstanding accomplishments, but all I see is the starting circuit of a marathon race that I can't see the end of yet. There are no major contributions that I've made to society. There are no trumpets that sound when I wake up the morning, to summon me to any epic-like situation. There aren't ever sensations of feeling heroic. No, this is life. And it's so simple really, the lesson God's teaching me in all of this.

"You are not anything without Me."

It's a humbling, yet reassuring message. On the one hand, it takes away pride (which if I might have were I at the top of the class, which I'm definitely not). I know without a doubt that of my own volition, I would not currently be a candidate for an MD degree. I would not be in medical school, except... by the grace of God. So the responsibility for this part of my life - or really any parts of my life - I can't claim, and that makes me feel very small. Yet in the same way, knowing that God has used my life in this way is wonderful. THE Creator of the universe is managing my life. THE Alpha and Omega is orchestrating my entire day. HE that is so busy with trillions, no an infinity, of other matters in the world, has taken the time to care for me. What a humbling position this peon (me) finds herself in. I have no merit or quality that would justify or make me deserve what I've been given, yet my dear Father in heaven is ever so gracious to me.

And so the daily humdrum and gestalt of life seems more special, even in it's simplicity; knowing that there's a symphony being directed to make even the 'boring' parts of life happen at all.

Shifting gears from traveling and the whirl and buzz of jet-setting, I have slowly adjusted to the daily rhythm of medical studies. I am still far behind in catching up on correspondence, world events, and even domestic politics.

Biochemistry and Physiology are on the to-do list, and they are definitely something to-do. Last weekend was great for studying because it was rainy, but the weather has shifted bittersweetly to sunny days that ever distract me from the hum and drum of classwork.

I've been reading in Ephesians recently and a study guide asked the other day, "if God has given us all spiritual blessings, then what are you thankful for? And how often do you thank God for all you have been given?" So as my study break today, I've decided I want to come up with a list of just some of the things I'm thankful for.

*knowing God - I mean, I still know Him imperfectly, but just the insight He has given me to know Himself is a blessing
*blessings of friendships - beyond my extremely encouraging family, I am surrounded by a great group of friends who daily challenge and encourage me to strengthen and grow my faith
*physical blessings- I can see (which makes me able to read and study), I have a brain that can think, I have a voice, I can walk and get around and see this world He's created... I feel so privileged to get to do all of that!

Anyway, here's to being thankful for the small things (that are actually so important in the big scheme of things!) Cheers!

I love Japan. No, I really do. I would go back in a heartbeat. Maybe it was in the stark contrast between the disorder/repression/poverty of India, that Japan shone like a surreal utopia. However, I absolutely adored my time spent in the vastly advanced and well-cultured Asian city of Tokyo.

I had gotten worn out by the time spent in India, and because of things happening back on the mainland, I had developed a strong urge to come home (bypassing Japan altogether.) Fortunately though, it was too expensive to change flights, so I ended up spending four delightful days. Here are some highlights...

1. Meeting Malin, the fun Swedish traveling companion for the majority of time I spent there.
2. The deliciously exotic food and meandering around interesting shops and stalls.3. Sleeping overnight in the oddly futuristic and almost sci-fi "capsule."

4. Spending the last night with two Japanese strangers who befriended me and took me to do that altogether Asian thing to do... Kah-rah-oke. (That's really how you're supposed to pronounce it!)